10 Things that films always get wrong about us normal people

Oh! Just a bunch of things, not much. But the bunch is big!

Tracking down lost people

The way commoners are able to track down extremely ‘difficult to track people’. Hell, if you told me to locate my friends with their plethora of social network handles, their hang-out addresses and all those of my own to help me, I couldn’t.

Who says cracking codes and passwords are difficult?

This one is so frequent and predictable we know they’ll easily do it. Without knowing passwords they crack it down in like 9 seconds. And their third and last attempt is usually 99.99 % successful. That’s tremendous success rate!!! Not to mention their 9 seconds are like 9 minutes long.

And the same with diffusing time bombs. The last second before the explosion is always when they get it always always always right!

Impersonation

They are frightfully good at impersonating. In real life we can recognise people by their gait, their style of talking, dressing or simply by how they react even from behind when their faces aren’t even visible. How is it possible for someone so close like your spouse or sibling or boss to be suddenly replaced by an imposter and you can’t see it?

They can do everything. Just name it

Without prior knowledge they can jump into driver’s seat and drive buses, trucks, operate cranes, fly helicopters, airplanes and all. There are people who can’t uncork a bottle of wine without watching at least a dozen YouTube tutorials for it….

Dream Children

Their babies and little kids are always, always, always so manageable! Never bothering about eating, sleeping, toys or whatever. Like what!!!! No way in real life where most parents struggle at meal times.

No Passport, no Visa, the world is your backyard

Hollywood, Bollywood assumes every ABC and XYZ has ready passports and Visa to go anywhere they want at one moment’s notice! Just try it once in real life…

Fully mortal but fully immortal

The biggest of them all is how they may fall off a cliff or leap from a 1000 meter height (or more), roll right through under a moving car or heck a train, they barely get more than a grazed forehead and a neatly cut lip-corner that does not even swell. In real life a paper cut feels like going into the ER and a single fall face-down results in a profusely bleeding lip that swells up like a balloon.

Many of them neatly and routinely survive bomb explosions and even nuclear missiles and explosions!

One example is that of Jack Bauer (if not James Bond) of television serial 24. Jack Bauer is literally immortal! Really, literally! No matter what happens, whether accidents, viruses, bio-weapons, wars, fires, bombs, explosions, nuclear disasters, missiles, solar flares, asteroid strikes the size of Chixculub, no matter in how many varied costumes his death disguises itself, Jack Bauer manages to stay completely safe, unscathed and fully functioning for his office!

Grip like that of a virus

This one totally puts me off. The famous anti-gravity one hand hanging on cliff, steel bars, window ledge, wires or the topmost window railing of a skyscraper. Unless you are a cartoon or made of paper and cloth there’s no way you can pull this off.

Injured to the last bone but fully functioning like an Olympian athlete

Broken bones or dysfunctional organs, bullets roaming about freely in their blood stream or safely lodged, a hundred stitches or a hundred open gaping wounds, freshly operated for brain or kidneys, foot in sling or skin peeling off like a banana peel, hooked to life support system or lying open-like-a-book on intensive operation table, they can still manage any task at hand, the greatest being still able to catch the culprit/hero/villain they were intending to.

In real life a common cold condemns us to stay confined in bed for a week or two…Female warriors, agents, fighters

Female Fighters defying safety instincts

This is a big one.

If they have female warriors, soldiers, martial fighters, secret agents etc. it irks me to death to see their totally smart but totally unsuitable costume for their job. How can completely exposed thighs, midriff, deep cleavage, exposed shoulders and abs help you if you have to take on enemy attack from literally any direction from any weapon in open field in rough terrain?

Look at the girl in the middle. The beauty of her flawless metal costume is breath taking for more reasons than one. But how do you protect yourself when your outfit can injure you much more than it can protect you?

Villains defying against survival instinct

But this one is the worst of them all!

The villain who is about to die gives absolutely no regard to his own precious life, nearing end or remorse, regret whatsoever for his deeds. He becomes like an unstoppable permanently programmed killing machine with no ‘recall’ or ‘alter’ or ‘pause’ or ‘stop’ or even ‘disconnect’ button, his first and last thoughts only of destroying you. Even with his last breaths and with maximum effort he try to get you.

With much less he could have easily saved himself or at least apologised before dying. With your large heart of gold you may have even forgiven him.

Who does that?

But that’s just my opinion. Thanks for reading.